To overcome discomfort in social situations, one must identify and reduce our 'safety behaviors' (such as looking at one's phone, rehearsing sentences, or isolating oneself) and actively expose oneself to discomfort by directing our attention toward others rather than ourselves.

noli's read

The idea that avoidance or protective behaviors maintain social discomfort is widely validated by research in cognitive psychology. A major meta-analysis published by *Cuming et ses collègues* in the *Journal of Anxiety Disorders* confirms that these temporary crutches prevent one from learning that feared situations are, in fact, manageable. Furthermore, randomized controlled trials (RCTs), such as those conducted by researcher *Adrian Wells*, demonstrate that exposing oneself to others without these withdrawal strategies reduces anxiety in a much more sustainable way. The advice to adopt externally focused attention is also supported by observational studies showing that excessive self-analysis fuels stage fright and self-judgment. There is no exaggeration here, as this approach of gradual exposure and attentional redirection remains the gold standard for developing social ease.

the sources

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