To navigate the loss of a loved one, it is advisable to accept that our mind must perform the work of "remapping" its attachment markers (space, time, proximity) in order to update and integrate this absence.

noli's read

This perspective is firmly based on the work of neuroscientist Mary-Frances O'Connor, who, through functional MRI (fMRI) studies and observational data, describes this process as a complex cognitive learning task. According to her research, the brain maintains a virtual map of our loved ones using areas responsible for spatiotemporal orientation. During a loss, the mind experiences a prediction error because its internal markers still expect to encounter the other person in daily life. While this explanation of neurological mapping is scientifically validated, the idea of being able to "actively support" or intentionally accelerate this process is more nuanced. Observational evidence indicates that this update occurs primarily in an organic, automatic, and gradual manner, over time and through new lived experiences. Patiently welcoming this biological rhythm without forcing the reorganization of our attachment circuits remains the approach most aligned with current data.

the sources

1. 1Lauersen JB et al. 2014
2. 2Wang XQ, Zheng JJ, Yu ZW, et al. 2012
3. 3Podcast Notes (podcastnotes.org)