Dr Julie Smith@drjulieTikTok

👉 The last one is something every people pleaser should know. It certainly changed the …more

original sound — @drjulie

what it claims

The need to please everyone is not kindness but a form of fear; it is essential to set boundaries and assert oneself to maintain healthy relationships and preserve one's personal integrity.

holds up

Clinical psychology does indeed recognize that 'people-pleasing' behavior is often linked to social anxiety or a fear of conflict rather than genuine altruism, as highlighted by…

noli's read

Clinical psychology does indeed recognize that 'people-pleasing' behavior is often linked to social anxiety or a fear of conflict rather than genuine altruism, as highlighted by work on assertiveness (cognitive-behavioral therapy). Observational studies suggest that difficulty in setting boundaries is correlated with an increased risk of emotional burnout and resentment in interpersonal relationships. The idea that assertiveness is compatible with kindness is a pillar of assertive communication validated by clinical practice. There is no scientific controversy here, although the use of the term 'fear' is a simplified popularization of more complex psychological mechanisms like early maladaptive schemas. The analysis is consistent with current positive and relational psychology models that advocate for a balance between personal needs and social expectations.

the sources

Claimed by Dr Julie Smith. Noli grades the claim, never the person.

Decoded by Noli · July 18, 2026 · the original post

What the graded evidence says

Evidence: B+

Linked to, not proven to cause.

Effect: survival by strength of social relationships; mortality risk from loneliness/social isolation/living alone (meta-analyses of cohorts) — stronger social relationships OR 1.50 (95% CI 1.42-1.59) for survival; social isolation OR 1.29, loneliness OR 1.26, living alone OR 1.32 for mortality
Measured on: adults across many countries and age groups (308,849+ participants pooled)

These are associations from cohort studies, so healthier, better-resourced people may both connect more and live longer. The link is strong and consistent, but claims that touch or connection directly "change your gene expression" go beyond the evidence.

Dr Julie Smith in the Register111 claims graded · solidity 99/100See their record →