The excessive need to please others (people-pleasing) does not stem from authentic kindness, but from a fear of disapproval. This habit deprives us of control over our lives and generates deep internal resentment beneath an appearance of kindness.

noli's read

Psychological research firmly supports this observation. Observational studies on 'unmitigated communion' (such as those by Helgeson & Fritz, 1998) show that systematically prioritizing the needs of others at the expense of one's own is correlated with anxiety and resentment. Furthermore, self-determination theory (Deci & Ryan, supported by extensive meta-analyses) confirms that actions dictated by a fear of rejection rather than intrinsic values impair our well-being. This phenomenon, also linked to 'sociotropy' in personality research, shows that an excessive need for approval weakens mental health. While the idea of completely losing one's 'power to do good' is phrased somewhat dramatically, the negative impact on the sense of control over one's own life is scientifically proven.

the sources

No named source held this one up — that absence is part of the verdict.