Stopping the desire to please everyone ('people pleasing') and asserting oneself is not contrary to being a good person; on the contrary, setting boundaries is essential to preserve one's well-being and honor one's own values when dealing with those who do not always look out for our best interests.

noli's read

In psychology, the concept of 'people pleasing' is closely linked to sociotropy, a trait characterized by an excessive need for social approval. Numerous observational studies show that high sociotropy is correlated with increased stress, lower self-esteem, and relationships perceived as less authentic. Conversely, self-assertion (or assertiveness) is defined by expert consensus as the ability to express one's needs while respecting those of others, demonstrating that kindness and assertiveness are not incompatible. A major meta-analysis conducted by Speed et al. in 2018 confirms that assertiveness is strongly correlated with improved psychological well-being and a reduction in relationship anxiety. Furthermore, randomized controlled trials (RCTs) evaluating assertiveness training programs demonstrate that learning to set boundaries decreases perceived stress and strengthens self-confidence. The creator's advice is therefore based on a particularly solid foundation of empirical evidence for improving daily quality of life.

the sources

No named source held this one up — that absence is part of the verdict.