People-pleasing is not kindness but an avoidance strategy based on fear, and asserting one's needs is essential to maintaining healthy, authentic relationships.

noli's read

This advice aligns with the principles of behavioral psychology and interpersonal relationships. Social psychology research supports the idea that conflict avoidance, often motivated by a fear of rejection, can undermine relationship satisfaction and emotional well-being (observational studies on assertiveness). The concept that the systematic sacrifice of one's needs generates resentment is well-documented in the literature on couple and group dynamics. However, characterizing 'people-pleasing' exclusively as 'fear' is a clinical simplification useful for popularization, but one that obscures factors such as the need for secure attachment. Research on assertiveness does indeed show that expressing one's boundaries reinforces self-esteem and the quality of bonds, contrary to constant self-effacement. In sum, the approach is globally validated by models of interpersonal communication, while being presented here from a motivational perspective.

the sources

No named source held this one up — that absence is part of the verdict.