"People pleasing" is driven by a fear of rejection rather than by kindness; to preserve one's own identity and build healthy relationships, it is essential to learn to set boundaries and express one's own needs.

noli's read

The link between an excessive need to please and the fear of rejection is widely documented in research on "unmitigated communion" (the act of neglecting oneself for the benefit of others). Observational studies, notably those by researchers Helgeson and Fritz, demonstrate that this behavior is strongly correlated with an increase in emotional distress and relationship burnout. Furthermore, the self-determination theory by psychologists Deci and Ryan maintains that authenticity and respecting one's own needs are essential for well-being and mental vitality. Regarding relationships, observational research confirms that systematically avoiding conflict through submission creates resentment and hinders partner satisfaction in the long term. Finally, while the idea of "becoming invisible to oneself" stems from a metaphor specific to the language of personal development, the effectiveness of assertiveness in reducing stress and improving self-esteem is solidly validated by research.

the sources

No named source held this one up — that absence is part of the verdict.