Confirmation bias can keep us stuck in unsatisfying relationships by pushing us to overvalue rare positive signals (like a nice message) and to ignore or excuse hurtful behaviors, in order to protect our beliefs and our emotional comfort.

noli's read

The concept that our attentional filters alter our perception of our relationship is widely validated by research in relational psychology. The work of Sandra Murray and her colleagues (1996, longitudinal observational study) on 'positive illusions' demonstrates that we tend to idealize our partners and minimize their flaws to maintain relationship stability. Similarly, research from the Gottman Institute on couple dynamics confirms that we actively filter interactions to match our overall vision of the relationship, whether positive or negative. However, presenting this phenomenon as 'unconscious editing for self-protection' simplifies cognitive and affective mechanisms that are, in reality, more complex and interactive. Finally, while it is true that our minds filter information, there is no scientific evidence measuring in a standardized way how a single positive message cancels out the impact of distant or hurtful behavior.

the sources

No named source held this one up — that absence is part of the verdict.